Don't Bother None: The Rise and Fall of Despair
by Dr Antithrax
Summary: A noble saga of unlikely friendship, join us as heroes Spike "Cowboy Bebop" Spiegel, Vash the Trigun, and Hellsing the Vampire, unite in an epic struggle to vanquish the forces of Super Saiyan Sephiroth!


Hey guys, there's this outlaw on this one planet with a huge bounty on his head:  
"Wow, that's the largest reward I've ever seen! He must be one bad guy"  
"He's called the humanoid typhoon, Vash the Stampede"  
and then they go and try and get him and Spike and Jet fight Vash while Ed does some crazy hacking of the plants or something but Vash does back hacking and Ed and Fay are all "Who is this guy"  
and then knives or vicious or some new bad guy shows up and Spike and Vash have to team up because he captured Fay and Ed and Jet and Merril and Milly

(AN: whos he)  
(AN2: idk unnamed bad guy)  
(AN: he has to be a srsly bad dude)  
(AN: to fight spike and vash)  
(AN2: like Sephoroth)  
(AN: atleast)

Super Sayain Sephiroth riding EVA 01

and then, among they're travels, they get captured and thrown into this dungeon and all seems lost but there's someone else in the dungeon

chained up and tied in a straight jacket the tied up dood is all "I can help you escape, but you need to release me. In return for my freedom, I'll liberate you from this confinement"  
and Spike's all, "Sure, why not? It's not like we're in a position to bargain or anything"  
but Vash is all, "I don't know about this. I get a bad vibe from this guy"  
but he eventually gives in, and they release him and the second they do, he rises in a swirling mass of darkness, instantly throwing open the doors and killing all the guards in a giant cascade of blood and then, slowly he lowers himself on one knee, covered in the blood of his victoms, and he says, "My last masters referred to me as Alucard. I am eternally in your debt and will aid you for the remainder of your journey"  
and so another warrior joins the ranks of the wandering brigade to save their fallen commrades and so, Vash, Spike, and Alucard continue to search for S3 (Super Sayain Sephiroth, SSS)

anyway they acquire many things on their journey Like weapons made of cloth that turn into an indestructable metal when a current is passed through them and capsules that contain vehicles and houses and they learn alchemy

and they finally find S3 on his home dimension which they find through the power of love (no questions asked)  
and they fight with all their strength Alucard puts the Cromwell something or other into effect and releases all seals to lvl1 Vash uses his ship and tries to destract S3 and his new-and-improved EVA 01 (now referred to as "Apocolypto 01)  
sorry, Spike not Vash Vash has no ship

anyway, Spike is destracting Apocolypto 01 while Vash is gathering energy for an Angel Arm discharge Vash yells "NOW SPIKE! IT'S READY CLEAR THE LINE OF FIRE"  
and Spike launches a series of zero-gravity mines to prevent A01 from dodging but they get destroyed buy his arsenal of machine guns all over his base so, to prevent a missed shot, Alucard sacrifices himself buy completely restraining A01 with his cursed seals so Vash launches his Angel Arm blast and wipes them both away and there was much rejoicing but as the smoke cleared, an uneasy tension lingered in the air they turned to see Apocolypto 01 was still operational, and Alucard was gone!  
so S3 unleashes waves of electromagnetic/graviton beams at Vash and Spike and they are completely immobile "This looks like it could be the end" Vash sighs.  
"whatever happens happens" spike relies

(AN: its what spike would do)

"THOSE AREN'T THE WORDS OF MEN! STOP BELIEVING IN YOURSELVES! BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE IN DANGER WHO BELIEVE IN YOU"  
all of the sudden out of the dust rises Gurren Lagann!  
"Simon, now! Let's show them what the fire in a man's soul can really do"  
"GIGAAAAA"  
"....DRILLLLLLL"  
"...BREEEEAAAAAAKKKKKKKEEEERRRR"  
A01 is caught in a swirling vortex of sheer power, breaking the bind it had on Spike and Vash "You did it! The others are saved!" shouted Vash "No" said Simon. "That wasn't enough to finish him off. He'll be back, and he won't be happy"  
at that moment, A01 gets back up, damaged, but still operational "Gurren Lagann is finished, we don't have it in us for another attack." said Simon "Have you learned nothing, Simon! There's is nothing that your demon leader cannot over come! We will triumph over any enemy, without fail"  
"You're right!" said Vash. "We just need to work together and combine our strenght"  
so Vash activates his Angel Arm again, and Simon put his core drill in the chamber and Simon, Kamina, and Vash all combine their spiral energy into one huge attack and blow A01 to the eternal void from whence it came but then, emerges S3!  
"You've destroyed my ultimate weapon. No matter, now I can use my full power unrestrained"  
"That was everything we had!" yelled Vash and, completely drained of all their energy, Vash, Simon, and Kamina are blown back by a massive energy attack from S3

"How futile were your attempts at victory. I am the ulimate power in this existence! I am... wait a minute what happened to"  
BAM!  
S3 falls over, blood squirting out of his forhead behind him, Spike, smoking 9mm in hand "Man, that cocky SOB just didn't know when to shut up."

THE END?


End file.
